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13 Things You'll Only Know If You're a Masters Athlete

1. Always wear black bottoms on workout days that include any kind of jumping.

Urine leaks happen. Black shorts or leggings are a must. I shouldn't have to explain why.

2. A good sports bra is not where you skimp on money.

You can totally get away with going cheap on things like socks, tanks, or even shorts.....but whatever you do you need decent support for “the girls”.

3. What you choose to eat actually does matters.

You're metabolism and digestive system are not nearly as forgiving as it used to be. If you eat like an a$$hole, there will be a price to pay.

4. Jane Fonda's Jazzercise was once cool.

You remember when neon leotards and leg warmers were a popping industry. 

5. Always, always, always position yourself in front of the fan when you workout. 

Even when your not having a hot flash, if a fan is available call “dibs” on that spot.

6. You actually CAN strain a muscle by getting out of bed in the morning.

Who knew rolling out of bed could be dangerous?!

7. Ibuprofen is your friend. 

Especially at #6

8. Cardio is just a rebranding of what use to be called Aerobics in the 80s and Calisthenics in the 70s and no matter what it's called it still sucks.

You're definitely a masters athlete if you can remember calisthenics in gym class.

9. Proper warm ups are not discretionary.

Your muscles need some foreplay and you no longer can jump right into it anymore.

10. Your knees can make the same noises you used to only hear when eating cereal.

They also can sound like a goat chewing on a soda can.

11. Four to five hours can be considered at good night’s sleep.

Eights hours is now considered the good ole days.

12. Always pee before you start your workout.

Actually, you should never pass any opportunity to pee.

13. It really is never too late to start exercising.

No truer statement as been made.


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