How to Stop Resenting Growing Older

Spoiler: It starts with ditching the idea that your best years are behind you.

Let’s just get one thing straight before we dive in: growing older is weird. One minute you're shotgunning cheap beer at a concert in a crop top, and the next you're yelling at teenagers to slow down while clutching your lumbar support pillow. Aging hits us in the knees, the mirror, and if we’re being honest—right in the identity.

If you've ever caught yourself resentfully scrolling through your younger self's Facebook photos thinking, Ugh, who even let her waste that metabolism?, you're not alone. The resentment is real. But here's the thing—it doesn't have to be permanent.

First, Let’s Just Acknowledge the Grief

Growing older isn’t just about wrinkles and rogue chin hairs. It’s about loss.
Loss of time, spontaneity, bone density… okay, especially bone density. But also loss of versions of ourselves that we never got to fully be.

We need to stop pretending this is all glittery wisdom and “you’re only as old as you feel.” Some days I feel 93. On a heating pad. Eating a fiber bar.

Allowing yourself to grieve the parts of aging that feel unfair or unexpected is actually a powerful way to stop resenting it. You’re not being negative—you’re being honest. And honesty, my friend, is hot.

Let’s Talk Radical Acceptance (and Why It Doesn’t Suck)

Radical acceptance sounds like something you'd find painted on a rock at a yoga retreat, but hear me out. It's the idea of acknowledging where you are without judgment. You don’t have to like getting older. You just stop fighting it.

You don’t need to fake joy about perimenopause or pretend you’re totally cool with “age appropriate” clothing (whatever that means). But you can stop giving your energy to resenting it all.

As Sam Previte put it in that parenting article that had me crying into my coffee, “When we resist what we’re going through, we suffer more.” Translation: stop fighting time like it’s your ex. It’s not going anywhere, but you are—so go where it feels good.

Here’s What Helped Me (And Might Help You Too)

1. Stop Comparing Your Current Self to Past You

That 25-year-old version of you? She was cute, but she had no idea what she was doing. Now you’ve got confidence, boundaries, and hopefully a better bra. She wishes she were you, honestly.

2. Unfollow the “Anti-Aging” Noise

No serum is going to reverse time, and even if it could—do we really want to go back to the days of low-rise jeans and dating guys who quoted Tarantino unironically? Aging is not a flaw. It's proof you’re still here. And still hot.

3. Find Your Community

Whether it's a group chat of women who understand hot flashes and memes, or a brand like Old Lady Gains that refuses to go quietly into the night—surround yourself with voices that cheer for growth, not just youth.

4. Reclaim Your Definition of Beauty, Strength, and Fun

Aging gives you the gift of not giving a damn. Use it. Dance badly. Wear bold lipstick. Try something new. You don’t owe anyone a graceful fade into invisibility. You are allowed to be loud, messy, and gloriously alive at any age.

You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming

Resenting growing older comes from the lie that our value fades with time. It doesn't. It evolves. It deepens. It gets way better at calling out BS and picking restaurants with actual parking.

So no, we’re not going to pretend aging is all wine nights and enlightenment. But we are going to stop resenting it like it stole something from us. Because the truth is: it’s giving us something too. Power. Perspective. And honestly, better stories.